


My Prayer

by Magpiedance



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Ambiguous Deputy (Far Cry), Everybody Lives, Other, Premonitions, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 15:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14500230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpiedance/pseuds/Magpiedance
Summary: In which Joseph isn't the only one who hears a voice.





	My Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> _my prayer is to linger with you_
> 
> _at the end of the day_
> 
> _in a dream that's divine_
> 
> _-_

Hanging upside down in the carcass of a helicopter you reach out and touch Joseph's cheek. His eyes close and his face turns into your touch.

“I think-” you start, then hesitate. In your mind's eye you see a glimpse of a possible future. You see him lain on top of you, feverishly kissing your mouth, your face, and your body. The voice tells you things; unbelievable, indecent things. “I think I'm supposed to save you,” you manage to say.

Joseph's eyes snap open, and focus in on you.

“That's very sweet, my child,” he says, “But I am already saved.”

He doesn't sound certain though, and he looks unsettled. Then his followers arrive and he clambers out to greet them.

You run from the wreckage as though hell itself were chasing you. All the while plagued by obscene visions of Joseph's hand splayed on your stomach and his mouth open for you between your legs.

For as long as you can remember the voice has spoken to you. Mysterious, and muddled. Cryptic. You see visions of the sky on fire and below; your home county. The voice assures you it can be saved. How is unclear. From what? You're beginning to get an inkling.

John Seed holds your head under the water and the voice whispers in your ear. You see a future with his fingers twisted inside of you and his mouth sucking a bruise onto your shoulder. You relax your hands on the lapels of his shirt. You see vast tunnels underground, safe from the fire above. You allow yourself to be drowned by him. His expression upon pulling you loft-ward conveys confusion, and distress.

“It's okay,” you say to him with a smile, and you feel deranged. “I see. I see.”

He doesn't think to stop you before you place a soft kiss on his lips, and he practically jumps out of his skin at the sound of Joseph's voice behind him.

Later, standing over his defeated body, he says “You don't understand, you don't believe, you don't care,” and you smile and hush him. You stroke his hair and tell him not to worry. You're going to fix it. You're going to save everyone.

You arrest him.

You take him to Dutch's bunker. It seems like the safest place. Dutch wants to kill him, but he respects that Holland Valley wouldn't be free but for you, so he abides by your judgement. You don't tell him about the voice. You're not so far gone as to think that would be a good idea.

Hudson _really_ doesn't like your decision not to destroy the bunker. You very nearly come to blows over it. You lie. You tell her it has strategic value. You tell her you can use it in your fight against the Seeds. You know she'll never go back inside, but there are other places she can hide should it come to that. She can still be saved. You give John's key to Mary May and tell her to use it when the time is right. She gives you a _look_ and you shrug.

You drink a lot that night.

Faith's territory is difficult for you. You were already struggling to keep your grip on reality and the present without additional drug-induced hallucinations.

But then you see dark-skinned hands caress her face and you tell her “She'll take you back. She will.”

Tracey isn't happy about it.

The Marshal proves incredibly difficult to subdue even without Faith pulling his strings.

Faith is locked in a cell while the Cougars send people to purge the Bliss from her bunker. You hand Tracey the key and tell her it's all up to her now and you absolutely don't tell her about the future the voice assures you she and Rachel will have together. It will not be easy for them, and they will not always be happy. But they will be safe, and they will again experience moments of true joy.

The dreams you have that night frighten you more than anything you've seen so far. You see Eli Palmer die by your hands and the voice tells you that you must give yourself up entirely to avoid such a fate.

You feel more unhinged than ever.

Jacob Seed opens the music box and you find yourself in a maze of targets. You know what he wants you to do but you refuse. You sit on the ground and allow yourself to be 'killed' over and over while the eldest Seed screams 'weakness' at you.

His boot finds your neck and you clutch at his ankle as your vision fills up with red. You see him laying by your side as you sleep, his arms around you and nose buried in your hair. From nowhere you croak out the words “ _I love you.”_

The pressure leaves your neck immediately as Jacob takes a step back in disgust. You gulp down air and roll onto your stomach, panting into the dirt.

You're left to die slowly with the others but you find yourself back in a cage soon enough.

This time Joseph wants to see you.

“I don't suppose I can convince you to release John,” he enquires casually, as though he doesn't even care about the answer.

“He's safe,” you reply with conviction. “He was supposed to die, but I saved him.”

Joseph's face goes blank with surprise.

“You truly believe that, don't you?” He asks, with wonder.

You laugh, a tone of borderline hysteria cracking through.

“I don't know what to believe any more,” you admit.

Jacob is left with instructions to keep trying and you go round and round again. Every time you refuse to shoot and Jacob bloodies your face more than once. You tell him about the voice. You tell him about the future you see for him; his hand held in yours.

He frowns and says nothing and the song plays again.

There's not a square foot of your body left unbruised by repeated punishment for your failure to comply. You find a kind of serenity in it. In surrendering to the voice. You crawl over to Jacob and press a kiss to his boot.

“There's something very wrong with you,” he says.

You can't disagree.

Staci stages an escape but when the song begins to play you find yourself unaffected. You push him over the balcony and onto the truck and then you go to find Jacob.

After weeks of starvation and repeated beatings it's nothing sort of a miracle that you manage to find and subdue him before his men find you. You set a fire as a distraction and escape in a pick up truck with Jacob dumped haphazardly in the back.

Dutch is even less happy this time.

You give him Jacob's key and tell him to leave. You can't get the image of him dead on the floor out of your mind. It takes some doing, but you convince him to join the Whitetails in the Wolf's Den. You ask him to put the word out over the radio to everyone he can reach: 'it's time, get underground'. Then you ask him to look after Staci for you.

He thinks you're mad. He does what you ask anyway.

You drive to Joseph's compound. His followers are nowhere to be seen.

“I sent them away,” he explains. “The time is near, but you already know that, don't you?”

You nod.

His face is grim.

“Did I-” he looks like he is going to cry. “Did I not do everything He asked of me?”

You sigh, and pull him into a hug.

“I have no fucking idea,” you say.

You see the crash coming. See Joseph carry you the final steps into Dutch's bunker, where he is reunited with his brothers. You see the passage of time turn mistrust into acceptance into longing into passion. You see your new life stretch out in front of you, made more bearable by the lives you saved.

_And then you open your eyes._

Burke barks your name, irritated at having to repeat himself.

“Put the damn cuffs on him and let's get out of here.”

You look up at Joseph Seed, his wrists presented to you in a mock showing of surrender. He looks cocksure. He looks like he knows what is going to happen.

You snap the cuffs around his wrists.

It's not going to go how he thinks.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Not really happy with this but I already deleted it and started again twice and I just want to move on now :) [My Prayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7KJCns5v3g) by The Ink Spots


End file.
